Agentic Commerce Is Here, and It’s Already Asking You to Leave the Store
OpenAI decided it was going to reinvent online shopping, which is a bold move considering online shopping is already so efficient it occasionally feels like you’ve accidentally summoned an object through sheer desire. You think “I could use a lamp” and two days later a man appears, hands you a box and vanishes before you can process what just happened. That system works. It’s eerie but it works.
And OpenAI looked at that and thought: “Yes, but what if we made it… conversational?” Because the dream was enormous. Not just “search,” not just “recommendations.” No - this was agentic shopping. You wouldn’t browse anymore. Browsing is for peasants. You would simply tell the AI what you want and it would handle everything. Like a digital butler. A very powerful, very intelligent butler who, crucially, has never actually bought anything in its life.
And for a brief, shining moment it looked like this might be real. Huge partnerships, big retailers, millions of potential products. It sounded less like a feature and more like the opening move in a quiet coup against the entire concept of websites. Tabs? Gone. Carts? Gone. Your ability to comparison-shop at 1:30 a.m. while eating shredded cheese out of the bag? Also gone. And then, immediately, it became clear: this thing had the retail instincts of a goldfish.
Because shopping, it turns out, is not just “knowing things exist.” It requires details. Timelines. Availability. Prices that correspond to reality. ChatGPT approached these concepts the way a fortune teller approaches your future: suggestively, creatively and with no legal obligation to be correct. You’d ask for a backpack and it would recommend something that absolutely existed… at some point… possibly in a warehouse that has since been converted into luxury flats. Prices felt like they’d been generated by a dartboard labeled “numbers that seem polite.” It wasn’t shopping. It was improv.
And then there was the selection which was meant to be vast, infinite, a shimmering digital marketplace. Instead it often felt like opening a wardrobe expecting Narnia and finding a single flip-flop and a note that says “we’re working on it.” Millions of merchants were theoretically involved. In practice it was more like six guys named Dan with artisanal candle side hustles.
But all of that - every weird recommendation, every ghost product - could have been forgiven. Because in retail there is one sacred moment. The final step. The holy ritual where a human gives you money in exchange for goods. That is the one thing you absolutely cannot mess up. That’s like a parachute company forgetting to include the parachute.
And yet - magnificently - they messed it up.
People got to checkout and just… didn’t check out. Not dramatically. Not angrily. Just quietly disengaged, like guests at a party who suddenly realize they’ve been talking to a coat rack. Sales didn’t dip - they evaporated. The entire system developed the commercial energy of someone saying, “Oh no, please, after you” until everyone leaves.
Retailers noticed. Of course they did. Because when you run a business you tend to notice when a new partner arrives and immediately starts turning completed purchases into philosophical questions. At a certain point, they collectively decided - “This has been fascinating but we do enjoy revenue” and began backing away like people exiting a room where someone has brought out a guitar unprompted.
And so now, we arrive at the pivot. The glorious, inevitable pivot. The feature didn’t fail - it evolved. It’s not “bad at selling things,” it’s “focused on discovery.” Which is an extraordinary rebrand. That’s like a pilot announcing, “Good news - we’re no longer attempting to land. We’ve decided to specialize in flying near airports.” ChatGPT is no longer the cashier. It is now a very articulate friend who points at shops and says: “You might like that one” before immediately leaving the building. It has been demoted from “handles the transaction” to “gestures vaguely in the direction of commerce.”
And honestly that might be the correct role. Because if your revolutionary system panics at the exact moment money is introduced you haven’t built the future - you’ve built a tour guide with stage fright. Now, to be fair, the idea isn’t absurd. One day an AI might genuinely handle shopping end-to-end. It might compare options, optimize prices, maybe even gently intervene when you try to buy something described as “minimalist” that is, in fact, just worse. That future could exist. But right now we are very much in the phase where the AI stands in the middle of the experience, confidently recommending things it half-understands, gesturing toward a checkout it refuses to touch and somehow acting surprised that commerce involves… finishing the transaction.
Which means, for now, the cutting edge of shopping technology remains exactly what it has always been: you, a browser and an increasingly fragile belief that the product with 4.7 stars and a review titled “Changed My Life (Not Sponsored)” is not, in fact, going to arrive smelling faintly of regret. |